Who is a man?
"The one who carries the family name" is the conventional definition that we had in most parts of India. But like everything, this definition went through evolution. Today MAN refers to a male who earns his living, carries the family name, never cries or gets weak, has a good physique, is a millionaire, wants to have kids, loves dogs, feeds the poor, roams at night to protect the innocent, rides a Dragon. No wait, dragons aren't real. And the expectations, well,ehm.....
Hearing phrases like boys don't cry is an everyday thing for us. I didn't realize there was anything wrong with it until recently when a friend had to travel alone at night and he confessed that he was scared. And I impetuously responded- why? You are a guy!
It was then that I heard it coming from my own mouth that I realized how wrong it sounded. I was denying a guy the right to feel a natural emotion! In a world full of stories of how one gender was oppressed, we forgot that many times that ONE gender was male. Forced to hide tears beneath moustache, scars under beard, we neglected the fact that staying strong is good but acting to stay strong for long leads to frustration.
A man gives flowers. Pink, well. Pays bills, is an emotional pillar, has to be handsome not beautiful. These stereotypes have been raising ours as well as expectations of men for themselves. Ghar ki zarurat, baap ka sapna, maa ki saari.
And then there are these people who have got the meaning of feminism all wrong, claiming that all men are bad. Perhaps they are right. You can either be gentle or a man.
I know a little boy of three, too young to understand that the world doesn't want him to say it out loud that he loves pink. So I am gonna tell him that he is beautiful and he should be open about what he likes. That crying is a sentiment and letting those tears out won't make him any less of a man. That falling hurts and it's okay to feel pain. Time to change. You talk about gender equality? Time to be gentle with men.
"The one who carries the family name" is the conventional definition that we had in most parts of India. But like everything, this definition went through evolution. Today MAN refers to a male who earns his living, carries the family name, never cries or gets weak, has a good physique, is a millionaire, wants to have kids, loves dogs, feeds the poor, roams at night to protect the innocent, rides a Dragon. No wait, dragons aren't real. And the expectations, well,ehm.....
Hearing phrases like boys don't cry is an everyday thing for us. I didn't realize there was anything wrong with it until recently when a friend had to travel alone at night and he confessed that he was scared. And I impetuously responded- why? You are a guy!
It was then that I heard it coming from my own mouth that I realized how wrong it sounded. I was denying a guy the right to feel a natural emotion! In a world full of stories of how one gender was oppressed, we forgot that many times that ONE gender was male. Forced to hide tears beneath moustache, scars under beard, we neglected the fact that staying strong is good but acting to stay strong for long leads to frustration.
A man gives flowers. Pink, well. Pays bills, is an emotional pillar, has to be handsome not beautiful. These stereotypes have been raising ours as well as expectations of men for themselves. Ghar ki zarurat, baap ka sapna, maa ki saari.
And then there are these people who have got the meaning of feminism all wrong, claiming that all men are bad. Perhaps they are right. You can either be gentle or a man.
I know a little boy of three, too young to understand that the world doesn't want him to say it out loud that he loves pink. So I am gonna tell him that he is beautiful and he should be open about what he likes. That crying is a sentiment and letting those tears out won't make him any less of a man. That falling hurts and it's okay to feel pain. Time to change. You talk about gender equality? Time to be gentle with men.
Quite the break.. :p
ReplyDeleteAfter a long time brother!
DeleteI know it may come out as rude but this isn't eccentric as compared to your other ones. But still its a good one. SO you have talked about woes of man in one and of woman in another. Doesn't they cancel out each other, absurd right. But I think if both are removed from equation, then the world would move towards uthopia which is not possible. So woman may get empowered, but a man would always hide his tears beneath moustache. But wait he don't have moustache, then he must not be a man.
ReplyDelete